so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
