i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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