if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize