The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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