Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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