Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
