Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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