This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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