After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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