He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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