I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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