After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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