after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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