You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Randomize
