Tell her she can't have a vagina
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
