yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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