I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
no you cant smoke seaweed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize
