I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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