NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
