Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just had sex on a roof
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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