If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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