How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
