The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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