do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
