did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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