Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
