I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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