So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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