i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
its liver damage thursday
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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