No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
