He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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