she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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