In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
