I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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