some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
