It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
