it wasn't lemon gatorade
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Two words: nipple clamps
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