And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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