How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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