so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
