I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize