There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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