Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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