Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
