youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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