He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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