You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
