Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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