I heard we made out
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm just crazy horny about you
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
