So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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