I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
