Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
