I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize