Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
