No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
