make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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