Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
