Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
