I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
