Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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