Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
