god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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