Please, let me fuck your mom
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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