I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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