If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she looked like the before picture.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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