Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
