Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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