Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
